Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
