Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
