I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
