apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
