Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
