OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize