Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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