Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize