he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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