i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
