I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
