she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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