Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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