Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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