girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
