Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
