I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
