At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
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at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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