Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
