nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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