Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
