i think i have herpe
just one?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
