I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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