I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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