i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
