TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
