Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
