Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
