He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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