if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
