thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
