I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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