I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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