dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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