I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
