well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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