WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
