i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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