I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
