Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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