i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
