you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
