He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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