I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
