Porn is love you can see.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
