I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
