Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
do herpes really smell.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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