i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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