I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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