Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
