You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
