I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
