so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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