i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
