I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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