Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
one might say we're banned from that church
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
