If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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