should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?