My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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