So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY