That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
