How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
