I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
