belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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