Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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